A Glimpse of Regret
by ddaybluedevil
Summary: Character study of Fallon One-shot Rated M for some swearing, needed to get out of my writing funk and I wrote this.


**AN: Brief character study on a character from** ** _Class of 1984,_** **on Fallon. I may build on this later, may not, I wanted to do a short-ish one shot. Totally my view and perception of the character and is open to your own interpretation and this takes place before the finale. Been stuck on some of my other stuff and hopefully writing some** ** _Class of 84'_** **will get me out of it.**

Charlie "Fallon the Fellon" Nixon was sick of being part of a gang that hurt people and he felt so guilty about what happened with Arthur and then Mr. Corrigan snapped with Barnyard. The school was in a quiet lull and he thought of the days before, the time before Lincoln High. It had been innocent and he always had playdates with Deneen and throughout middle-school they were very close.

It only took six weeks of sophomore year to lose her and he thought it was a necessary loss, at the time anyway. Now? Now, he wished there was more than just the gang and all the crazies that were after them. He was smarter than Peter and Stegman knew it, they all did. He could just walk away, drop his colors, make things right, be a good man even. He sighed as he walked through the empty hallway and thinking hurt, it really did. Ms. Albertson was making them read, _The Stranger_ , and he was finally thinking. He had always hated his family but know he understood why they still cared for him, it was absurd to love a rotten boy but they did it without question.

He rounded the end of the hallway and walked as he heard the strains of music coming from the band room. Charlie stopped and walked towards the sound as heard laughter, stories, it was absurd.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with your 'boys' right now." Deneen snarled as she pushed past him.

"Thinking." He responded and she whirled around, staring at him.

"You? Thinking? Nah, go away Felon." She responded as he rounded on his heel and walked away.

He needed to get away and he could no longer face the failure his life had truly become. It was bordering between absurdity and insanity and he was not sure how much longer he could take before, before he snapped. That was the thing, the one thing that people who were not in the gang did not get. You did not just walk away, you walk away, you die. Corrigan pushed back in class, he fought back and for a minute Fallon had respect for the man. He stood up albeit with a gun and threatening to kill Barnyard who again was a dumbass. There would be a funeral for him and Fallon thought about how brave his biology teacher really was. He had gone through war, one nasty divorce, and ended up teaching at Lincoln High before he truly cracked.

Norris was trying and Fallon admired him for that, it was hard not to like the man. His enthusiasm for music and his students put him above the rest of the teachers at Lincoln High. Stegman hated him and made everyone else hate him too. He pretended to hate him but it was too much not to end up rooting for the music teacher, he wanted Norris to win.

 **The Park**

Fallon sat on the monkey bars and thought about what Deneen said. It was not much to think about but it was something. The gang was known for more of brute force and not one for thinking, plus there was Barnyard, fucker. This wasn't living and he knew it, he remembered reading the biography on Camus. The man had seen Paris, Tripoli, London and so many different places. Charlie, Fallon, whatever he would call himself wanted to see these places and he wanted forgiveness. Arthur and Corrigan, even though Stegman killed them he still felt guilty. Is this what growing up felt like? Or was this what being human felt like?

Stegman made him lose his humanity and he beat up his own friends, former friends, and it hurts. He did not fight back and just went along like a little good Nazi. Fuck, he climbed down the monkey bars and punched the dirt. The fact that Stegman made them salute like Nazis pissed him off even more, his own grandfather lost a leg due to an SS landmine and he saluted like one? Why? Why, did he not realize sooner how his grandpa and grandma felt with his new "friends" and the guilt weighed heavier on him. He had to change or he would end up dead and Stegman would always come out on top.


End file.
